This Week in the Ancient Near East

New Inscriptions from Hezekiah’s Chunnel? Or, If An Inscription Drops in a Newspaper Does it Really Make a Sound?

New Biblical era inscriptions allegedly by Hezekiah are making waves in the newspapers. They raise many questions like, where’s the full scholarly publication, and, how about a decent picture at least? Is that how we do it now, just talk about stuff in the papers before producing the goods? How do we know if something is real and spectacular if it isn’t reviewed by a jury of one’s peers? Our contestant are washing the delicates in public!

Apocalypse When? A Very Special This Week in the Ancient Near East One Part Docu-Drama in Response to Something You Might Have Seen On Netflix

Ancient Apocalypse on Netflix has been watched like 25 million times and archaeologists are up in arms. It’s worlds in collision! It’s an unsolved mystery! But really, what’s the big deal? Is crazy talk about a vanished civilization dangerous or ludicrous? Our contestants disagree amusingly on many issues. THAT’S WHY THEY SHOULD HAVE A NETFLIX SERIES!

With a special guest appearance by Simon McCorkingdale, as Manimal!

The Lice Combs of Lachish, Or, Bless This Beard and All Who Dwell Within It

An ivory lice comb found at Iron Age Lachish is actually from the Middle Bronze Age and contains the first complete Canaanite sentence. It talks about lice. Didn’t see that coming. So obviously we argue about hair care products and the connection between literacy and nearsightedness.

Born on the (Mesopotamian) Bayou, or Welcome to Lagash; There is No Lifeguard on Duty, Swim at Your Own Risk

New data shows that cities in southern Mesopotamia were often islands in the stream divided by canals with lots of open spaces. What does it mean for early urban life if you have to take a gondola to work? Did kids learn to swim at Sumerian YMCAs? Who knew that urbanism was such a splash? 

A 25th Dynasty Egyptian Cheese Fit for the Afterlife, or, Why Expiration Dates Matter

The discovery of cheese in a 25^th Dynasty Egyptian tomb made us realize, everybody loves cheese. But what is cheese, really? And whether a spreadable chevre or a squeaky halloumi, how did people even survive it before pasteurization? Our panelists stand proudly with the cheese.

The Little Iron Age Papyrus That Could, Go from Jerusalem to Montana and Then Back to Jerusalem, or, Call Him Ishmael?

A little smidgeon of a papyrus has returned from Montana to Jerusalem. Does it date to the Iron Age? Is it real? Does it contain the word Ishmael? How did it get to Montana? Our contestants are confused, as usual. Maybe more than usual, which is saying a lot.

The Uncomfortable Ivory Decorated Chairs of Iron Age Jerusalem, or, Wait, There Were Elephants Wandering Around in the Iron Age?

The find of ivory decorations for furniture in Iron Age Jerusalem raises many questions. Where does the furniture come from and why does it look so uncomfortable? Were these diplomatic gifts or local knockoffs? Were there really elephants wandering around Syria in this period? Isn’t that what we should really be talking about?

The Archaeological Puzzle of Playing in the Past, Or, Bronze Age Barbie Bonanza?

A recent article on a button-like toy has us wondering, what are toys anyway and what are they for? Were there actually children in the past? And what is playing, really? No, really, what is playing? And that’s where things started getting sticky for us.